Monday, November 09, 2009

Fascination about People's Reactions to Baise Moi

Before I start off with anything on Baise Moi, I must make a voluntary disclosure. I have seen Takashi Miike's Ichi the killer (a crisper and shorter review here), and though for a while I found it difficult to see the film, I was inexplicably entranced by it, and today consider it one of the best films I have seen (my so called top 10 is a very dynamic list). The audacity is amazing, as is the ease of the process of filming in essence very difficult emotions to capture on screen. A few years earlier, and the comic manga that Ichi the killer was based on would have been put forward by Alfred Hitchcock as "Stories they wouldn't let me do on TV". Despite the clinical removal of all visible violence from the film (except for a few memorable slashes), the suggestion of extreme and mostly unprovoked violence makes the viewer shudder in scared anticipation. I have seen it, and adore it. I am not too fond of the slasher or gore genre in horror cinema, though for sheer entertainment, I sometimes might indulge in say, the Hostel movies. I still hate Audition (by the same Takashi Miike).

The disclosure is necessary to classify myself as a person who adores horror and yet is not too impressed with the gore genre as a shocking tactic. Baise Moi, which is french for "Fuck Me" (However, it's translations in other languages have been closer to Rape Me, an easier title to print on covers than "Fuck Me" which wouldn't be allowed in many countries), shows enough signs of an ambitious director, for sure. I saw the film after carrying the dvd (bought in one of those Loot Lo sessions last year) for more than a year, despite the provocative promises on the cover. In a session yesterday, I saw it and should plead to being a little lenient on this one (though that could be because of me taking the opposite side, since most intellectuals I know do not like the flick).

First things first, from here,

Anyone who's constantly frustrated by the simulated sex scenes in mainstream movies (wondering why, as adults, we're not permitted to see more explicit sexual activity in R-rated and, frankly, NC-17 rated films) should check out the controversial French film "Baise-Moi" (or "Rape Me," to give the film one of its less literal/more printable translations). One look and it'll be obvious why. *That's* why they don't do it, you'll quickly come to realize.

"Baise-Moi" is unique in so much as it's a mainstream film peppered with hardcore (i.e., non-simulated) sex scenes and (hopefully) simulated scenes of extreme violence. The sex here is not only jarring in its explicitness but, if you'll pardon the expression, it sticks out like a sore
thumb. It's not titillating (because it's too distracting, in an oddly anachronistic way), and it doesn't have much of a chance to be sexy, because the ultraviolence soon comes down like a ton of bricks.

The violence itself (aimed at both women and men, so don't go into this thinking it's some feminist anthem) is pretty nasty, so much so that you actually crave the sex scenes just to have something else to look at (until they arrive that is, orchestrated to a thumpa-thumpa rock beat, and then you're all distracted and non-titillated again). It's a circle ... and a very vicious one at that.


Old Man Ebert saw the flick and was shaking his grave head on what kind of movies are they making these days?

''Baise Moi'' is (a) a violent and pornographic film from France about two women, one a rape victim, the other a prostitute, who prowl the countryside murdering men. Or ''Baise Moi'' is (b) an attempt to subvert sexism in the movies by turning the tables and allowing the women to do more or less what men have been doing for years--while making a direct connection between sex and guns, rather than the sublimated connection in most violent movies. I pose the question because I do not know the answer. Certainly most ordinary moviegoers will despise this movie--or would, if they went to see it, which is unlikely. It alternates between graphic, explicit sex scenes and murder scenes of brutal cruelty. You recoil from what's on the screen. Later, you ask what the filmmakers had in mind. They are French, and so we know some kind of ideology and rationalization must lurk beneath the blood and semen.

The film has been written and directed by Virginie Despentes, based on her novel; she enlisted Coralie Trinh Thi, a porno actress, as her co-director (whether to help with the visual strategy or because of her understanding of the mechanical requirements on onscreen sex, it is hard to say). The movie's central characters, Manu and Nadine, are played by Raffaella Anderson and Karen Bach, who act in hard-core films, and some of the men are also from the porno industry.

Old Man Roger up is clearly baulked loud by the flick, and didn't want to be identified as a baulker. I am more inclined to agree with this view however,

Using the fact that it was banned in its native France, Baise-Moi is a film that continually seeks to cash in on controversy. From the title—which literally translates to ‘F*ck Me’--through to the hardcore sex (with actual penetration in the majority of the scenes), brutal violence, and to the fact that our antiheroes are women, everything here seems designed to cause outrage.

Is it really outrageous though? Most critics would say yes, but I tend to disagree. While the film certainly tries to make itself into more than what it really is by adding some
sort of half-assed feminist manifesto to the proceedings, once you get past that and view Baise-Moi as what it truly is—an exploitation flick with pornographic underpinnings—the film becomes much more entertaining. This is feminism from the Ms. 45 and I Spit on Your Grave school of thought—women empowered in the way that men would find interesting instead of any kind of real empowerment at all.


That’s intriguing, since the film was directed by two women—Virginie Despentes and Coralie Trinh Thi (who’s an adult film actress). One would assume that since women were at the helm that at least the feminist ideals would ring true—but they don’t. The main characters of Manu (Raffaela Anderson) and Nadine (Karen Bach) are little more than stylized versions of every man’s fantasy/nightmare—women who like to f*ck and are aggressive about it, but likely to kill you instead of cuddle afterwards.
------------------------------------------------
The film itself was shot on digital video, and it’s often grainy. The style is, as my colleague John Nesbit points out, reminiscent of the Dogme films—albeit not as good. I found that the grainy video and amateurish camera work was to the film’s advantage though. In many ways, Baise-Moi has a cinema verite feel to it. I was also often reminded of Man Bites Dog while watching it.


And this is an example of a feminist reviewing this flick, She loves the
The bulk of Baise-Moi’s energy is spent spinning a violent revenge fantasy with a stunningly unchecked id that shows us just how much those vague perceptions can manage to shock, revolt, offend, entertain, and enlighten.

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What is scary about these women isn’t that they kill or even that they kill without much provocation or even justification. They don’t pose a threat to men because they kill men. They’re scary because they have the same sense of self-entitlement that is not at all perceived as out of place in men. They feel no need to justify what they do, and why should they, if so many men have done the same to them? They become grotesquely empowered by calmly taking pleasure in their rebellion. That they occasionally kill women too is necessary since, like a man who rarely has to consider his sexual role, they’re not going to be bound by anything as simple as an ethos. Like Takashi Miike’s Audition, this is a horror story that shows men the inherent offense and condescension involved in thinking they know how a woman will react. This film is braver and better though because it doesn’t assume like Audition that there are still some of us who actually believe a woman “has her place”.


And more crawling out from The Entertainment Weekly ,

They're like dominatrices who've unleashed their volcanic ids; codirector Virginie Despentes, adapting her novel, seems to have found a new primal scene in the moment when Manu regurgitates all over the nice guy she's fellating.

Few would mistake ''Baise-Moi'' for a good movie, yet it's not dismissible, either. It's a caterwauling punk anthem on film, a vengeful fantasia served up with digital rawness. The hellbent antiheroines are as horny as they are hateful, and it's that fatal split, rooted in biology as well as feminist anger, that makes the sensationalism stick.


Culture Cartel makes critical points against the free economy where people like the director of this flick are allowed a camera to shoot with and enough marketing know how to market it,

Baise-moi, notorious for its graphic depiction of rape and for being banned in its native France, exciting exploitation fans because they realize how explicit French films can be. The term “Baise-moi” has been widely publicized in the U.S. as meaning “Rape me,” but the more accurate translation is “Fuck me.” The latter wouldn't play any U.S. film festivals, arthouses, or get classified as a foreign video/DVD. Distributors are aware that gaining a crossover audience is desirable for greater market share. I feel fortunate that I only had to invest 70 minutes and waste a Netflix rental; otherwise, I would have felt that I was the one who got raped and fucked.

For all its publicity about being a feminist statement against rape, Baise-moi essentially boils down to bloody nihilistic pornography that is neither provocative nor sexy—another Natural Born Killers with explicit sex and less artistry with the camera. Shot on videotape, somewhat in Dogme style, filmmakers Virginie Despentes and Coralie Trinh Thi (a porno actress) fail to develop any characters to care about although basic human instincts tell us that we should feel sorry for the two rape victims and for the various people who are subsequently gunned down senselessly.
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Attracting audiences with publicity about the shocking film that has appeared at film festivals but been banned by its progressive native country, the bloody film rapes and fucks us raw, but the uninitiated may last through the 70 minutes before realizing it. Consider yourself warned even though some of you are certain to now put Baise-moi on your “must see” list to see what all the talk is about. That's exactly what the filmmakers are counting on.

Really, now that was some outpouring! I am however, surprised by not many people talking about the hard metal music that the film experimented with, right through hardcore action. Both Sex and Violence. The result is not as startling as hearing Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan saab during the killing scenes of Oliver Stone's Natural Born Killers (a film I didn't like much), or doesn't form the brilliant rhythmic timing that it brings to scenes like in Run Lola Run. It was fun though, and clearly seemed like something that the director had wanted to experiment with.

I am curious about how many people saw the end product(who were not in the porn industry) before it was unleashed on to the festival circuit. It would have been a fun and terribly entertaining premier show, however with the actors in the porn industry (all actors and co-director being part of it) watching the first show and give hoots of approval (I presume)I liked the flick enough. I certainly loved reading peoples' reactions to it!

Baise Moi has a 23% tomatometer rating on rottentomatoes.com. The rating goes lower when only top critic reviews are considered, only 6% (1 out of 18 giving a favourable review).

Monday, August 31, 2009

Updating August

I shall not misuse my sudden appearance in trying to explain my disappearance over these past few months from here. Not much of it anyway. Realized midway through the facebook addiction that fb and a blog can co-exist very well. However, realized midway through my twitter addiction (which frankly, I am also wearing off now) that nothing can co-exist well with a well addicted twitter account. Not even mail, or chat, or any other social site.

A lot happened. Was given a lifeline at the job (Did well at that) .Had a massive argument with the girlfriend over one of her usual late night cribs. Next day I find her in Kolkata, while I was still at Durgapur roaming around industrial areas in trying to find new customers. (Did well there too!). Saw Kaminey the first time around, totally aching to write about Mikhail, Lobo & Tashi the great. Saw it a second time around in Bombay, and felt bored enough to forget the rush about the film.

(Random break)

Arghh! The reason why I am not able to write things here coz I start reading other stuff as soon as I start writing. I cannot concentrate over a period of time while writing. This is one of my biggest arguments against the self when I kid myself about me writing more.

The things big this morning to be reading! Quick Gun Murugan review (has released in kolkata, no time to go), Inglorious Bastards furore in PFC.

Bah

Spent the weekend (that being one day), and the previous two nights well. Saw Fear(s) of the dark (absolutely brilliant!), David Cronenberg's 1996 weird ass film Crash (uh, weird!), half of A Quantum of Solace (as my girl said, "Was that half a quantum of solace then?") and read through the first series of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Monday morning hasn't been very pleasant as yet. The usual annoyed dispositions, ant bites on upper lip, heavy day, ugh humidity, and no motivation.

The usual.


Sunday, June 21, 2009

Snippets from The Mammaries of the Welfare State

My friends shall never pick up The Mammaries of the Welfare State because they keep thinking I am recommending some high brow shit to them. The proof of the pudding is in the feeling, precisely why I enforce a Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali khan song on people before I ask them to make an opinion. There is no way I can make people read snippets from a book, unless I type them out myself. So here goes, one conversation worth.

Page 22, and it shall omit the distractions, so the first timer can just immerse himself/herself for now.

'So you're a dope smoking civil servant. Do you bring to your work a new perspective?' Suroor apparently knew a lot about the government. Agastya decided to 'sir' him while sharing the smoke, to try and discompose him.
~~~
'That isn't fair, Rajani,' objected Daya, handing Agastya a glass of watermelon juice. '~~ My favourite commandment from the Reader's Digest goes: If you don't like what you do for a living, quit. If you can't quit, shut up.'

Suroor, after a long drag on the joint: 'For you, Daya, everything's always been either black or white. In my world, the pros outweigh the cons, but that doesn't mean that the cons don't exist.' He beamed avuncularly at Agastya. "Does this not-so-young man have any opinions on the service of the Welfare State?'
'Yes. I feel weird. I ask myself all the time: How do you survive on your ridiculous salary? And why do you survive on your ridiculous salary? At the same time, I feel grossly overpaid for the work that I do. Not the quantity, which on certain days can be alarming, but the quality. In my eight years of service, I haven't come across a single case in which everybody concerned didn't try to milk dry the boobs of the Welfare State.' The dope was first-rate. 'But I suppose that's what the boobs are there for.

'In my earlier office, on the ground floor of the Commissionerate, alongside the stairs, stood a kiosk that we'd leased out about a decade ago, for a rupee a month, to a privileged underprivileged. He was Backward Caste, Depressed Class, Physically Handicapped - his right leg petered out at the knee- Mentally Zonked - his file had a photocopy of an illegible four-line note from some Assistant to the Head of the Department of Psychiatry of the Welfare State Hospital
Bored to type any more. Will get to it later. Yeah, right

Friday, June 19, 2009

Where the hell is Matt?

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Bling Bling

From Mercurial, two bags please by Andrew Hughes



"If you don't quit that squabbling I'm going to take these joke sunglasses off and freeze you with an icy glare now" © Getty Images


Not much went right for West Indies and Chris Gayle while fielding, South Africa v West Indies, ICC World Twenty20 Super Eights, The Oval, June 13, 2009

I could watch West Indies all day. They just do their thing, and even if their thing happens to be the wrong thing they do it anyway, because what else would they do? In the middle of what some people might say was a moderately significant game with South Africa, Chris Gayle's men appeared to fall out with each other. Yet even as they were arguing, scowling and pointedly not clapping, they were still throwing down stumps and pouching catches with ease. The South Africans looked a little perplexed, like policemen trying to arrest a bunch of squabbling bank robbers.

On further investigation it turned out that the outbreak of grumpiness started with Suliemann Benn, who, perceiving a lack of athletic endeavour from Ramnaresh Sarwan in the field, proceeded to holla on his rass in a vehement fashion. Old boy Ronnie did not like it one bit and everyone else appeared to get all riled up for no particular reason. I know how they feel. I was up late last night too and I was right grumpy this morning until I'd had my pancakes.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Saturday night

Sitting on a chair in the table in the living room with it's usual odds and ends crowded on like there's a yard sale on. It becomes like this no matter how much cleaning is eventually done, and hence has been like this perennially since the last year.



The two fans in the room are on, and yet sitting here in just my boxers, I am wiping off the sweat falling down the sides of my face. Non stop. With one of those mini towels I bought two years back in delhi. After a while it gets irritating enough to just get up and walk into the shower. Third since morning. Despite a continuous fever.

Had promised myself I would get done with a presentation due on monday, day after. Been absolutely lazy over it since the last 6 days. (actually the last 6 months, if you believe my boss). And just can't seem to get it moving.

Have become addicted to twitter. Am sick currently. Haven't had a cigarette in any form in the last four days. A chest full of sputum.

New found fascination for chess. Want to read more about it.

Too much to do. Except wanting to actually attend office. Feel totally demotivated. The usual crap maybe. But done in for. Closing this post now. Good night


The wrong footed one

A wayward Sohail Tanvir conceded 29 in two overs, Pakistan v Sri Lanka, ICC World Twenty20 Super Eights, Lord's, June 12, 2009

A wayward Sohail Tanvir conceded 29 in two overs

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Six That Wasn't

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Fear and Loathing

I am more and more fascinated by Hunter S.Thompson

From cracked.com

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

It changed a generation. It was supposed to be a report on a motorcycle race.

The Impact:

When Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas stumbled into the American literary scene in 1972 it was almost immediately embraced as a new classic, and has been screaming incoherently at the other classics and eating all the shrimp at their parties ever since.

It is the tale of two barely fictionalized versions of Thompson and prominent civil rights attorney Oscar Zeta Acosta (you can see him here in a yellow fishnet t-shirt) who leave a swath of destruction and crumpled plastic baggies across the desert. It's a manic and increasingly frustrated search for the American Dream in a world where Richard Nixon is President; JFK, MLK and Jimi Hendrix are dead

Some of you may be more familiar with Terry Gilliam's film version of the novel, the poster of which is immediately recognizable to anyone who has ever spent more than five minutes inside a college bookstore.

While there, you'll also find comics starring the character based heavily on Thompson, Spider Jerusalem.

But it All Got Started When...

Appropriately enough, the entirety of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas came to be because Thompson was on assignment from Rolling Stone to report on some retarded dirt bike race in the middle of the crappy desert.

Thompson spent so much of his time summing up the post-hippie zeitgeist that folks tend to forget that he got his start as a sports writer, and remained one up until his death (his suicide note was famously titled Football Season is Over.")


Over for YOU, anyway!

Thompson, never one for deadlines, responsibilities or coherence, started sending his bosses pages ripped out of his personal journal. Go ahead, try that at your job, see how it goes. Especially if your journal includes paragraphs like this:

"The sporting editors had also given me $300 in cash, most of which was already spent on extremely dangerous drugs. The trunk of the car looked like a mobile police narcotics lab. We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers . . . and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls."

But, if you're Hunter S. Thompson, your editor sends it off for immediate publication and you become the voice of your generation.



On Nov. 11, 1971, Rolling Stone published the first of Hunter S. Thompson's two-part Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Following, is the story's epic beginning.

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like, "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive . . ."And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about 100 miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"

Then it was quiet again. My attorney had taken his shirt off and was pouring beer on his chest, to facilitate the tanning process. "What the hell are you yelling about," he muttered, staring up at the sun with his eyes closed and covered with wraparound Spanish sunglasses. "Never mind," I said. "It's your turn to drive." I hit the brakes and aimed the Great Red Shark toward the shoulder of the highway. No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.

It was almost noon, and we still had more than 100 miles to go. They would be tough miles. Very soon, I knew, we would both be completely twisted. But there was no going back, and no time to rest. We would have to ride it out. Press registration for the fabulous Mint 400 was already under way, and we had to get there by 4 to claim our soundproof suite. A fashionable sporting magazine in New York had taken care of the reservations, along with this huge red Chevy convertible we'd just rented off a lot on the Sunset Strip . . . and I was, after all, a professional journalist; so I had an obligation to cover the story for good or ill.

The sporting editors had also given me $300 in cash, most of which was already spent on extremely dangerous drugs. The trunk of the car looked like a mobile police narcotics lab. We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers . . . and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.

All this had been rounded up the night before, in a frenzy of high-speed driving all over Los Angeles County -- from Topanga to Watts, we picked up everything we could get our hands on. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. Probably at the next gas station. We had sampled almost everything else, and now -- yes, it was time for a long snort of ether. And then do the next 100 miles in a horrible, slobbering sort of spastic stupor. The only way to keep alert on ether is to do up a lot of amyls -- not all at once, but steadily, just enough to maintain the focus at 90 miles an hour through Barstow.

"Man, this is the way to travel," said my attorney. He leaned over to turn the volume up on the radio, humming along with the rhythm section and kind of moaning the words: "One toke over the line . . . Sweet Jesus . . . One toke over the line . . ."

One toke? You poor fool! Wait till you see those goddamn bats. I could barely hear the radio . . . slumped over on the far side of the seat, grappling with a tape recorder turned all the way up on "Sympathy for the Devil." That was the only tape we had, so we played it constantly, over and over, as a kind of demented counterpoint to the radio. And also to maintain our rhythm on the road. A constant speed is good for gas mileage -- and for some reason that seemed important at the time. Indeed. On a trip like this, one must be careful about gas consumption. Avoid those quick bursts of acceleration that drag blood to the back of the brain.

My attorney saw the hitchhiker long before I did. "Let's give this boy a lift," he said, and before I could mount any argument he was stopped and this poor Okie kid was running up to the car with a big grin on his face, saying, "Hot damn! I never rode in a convertible before!"

"Is that right?" I said. "Well, I guess you're about ready, eh?"

The kid nodded eagerly as we roared off.

"We're your friends," said my attorney. "We're not like the others."

O Christ, I thought, he's gone around the bend. "No more of that talk," I said sharply. "Or I'll put the leeches on you." He grinned, seeming to understand. Luckily, the noise in the car was so awful -- between the wind and the radio and the tape machine -- that the kid in the back seat couldn't hear a word we were saying. Or could he?

How long can we maintain? I wondered. How long before one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family. Will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so -- well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere. Because it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'll report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law-enforcement agency, and they'll run us down like dogs.

Jesus! Did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me? I glanced over at my attorney, but he seemed oblivious -- watching the road, driving our Great Red Shark along at 110 or so. There was no sound from the back seat.

Maybe I'd better have a chat with this boy, I thought. Perhaps if I explain things, he'll rest easy. . .

Gul Panag

The awesome, gorgeous totally cool Gul Panag. She twitters here. As she herself says when asked why so many more intellectuals follow her (twitter lingo for reading their updates) than Mallika's,

May be coz I am real in more ways than one :)) lol give her time..

She is. Genuine. Real. And tongue firmly in cheek. Not your usual celebrity.

A friend who has met her says, "She looks too good. Better in real life than reel life."

Before the ' fall from grace' on Twitpic

Have been an utter fan of her since her Dor days. But Manorma 6 feet under firmly put her as one of the best people to pick when you are thinking of a female character actor option.

My favourite cool celebrity

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Aching on a humid night

11:30 at night.Very very tired.Head aching.Back aching. Just came back after dropping mom and sis to the howrah junction.Too much pollution on the way.Inhumanly humid outside. Feel much better en deshabille at home. They were home for 3 days. Felt better with someone at home. Not very free, but in a vague way, better.

Internet finally on at home after 15 days of absolute poker faced responses by reliance. Way tired with fights in every single small thing in life.

Review results and discussion was supposed to happen in office three days back. Just waiting for the boss's mood to get favorable enough to grace us low lifes with the information. I am expecting the absolute worst.Of saying and accepting whatever comes my way because work hasn't happened to expectations. I doubt I shall ever be able to deal in that many inequities and illogical at the work place, and give a good performance. As I have mentioned before, the confidence is down to all time low levels.Absolutely deadly levels.Keep feeling as if the whole life plan has gone wrong, and there is absolutely nothing I can do anymore to get it back on track.

Feels hopeless right now. Anything I do always has things going wrong. On a daily level. Every single day I expect things to go wrong like clockwork. And it involves 10 times the effort to make things happen that should happen normally.

Pathetic performances non stop at office - Nothing works its way to a logical end. Something or the other always crops up as a problem
New Mobile - Falls out of pocket, unusable.
Phone plan - wrongly done.1000 bucks gone. no redressal
New phone bought. That develops problems
Reliance net problem.
Internet blocked at office - I was blogging nicely and regularly after ages, and suddenly even that mode of expression gone
Somebody snips off the fuel connector cable on my bike
I can't seem to get girls interested in me anymore. I have always been like this, but have never seemed to face any difficulties consistently.Most times my personal, social life has compensated for the lack of confidence, if existing in my more staid professional life. The dry spell, in calcutta of all places is affecting things beyond just the nookie instinct.

A lot of cribbing. But writing on my blog after this long feels way nostalgic. This is not how I should be feeling about MY blog

Monday, May 25, 2009

Nostalgia for the Deadly Viper Assasination Squad

The following description reminded me of the Deadly Viper Assasination Squad. A brilliant article about graceful greatness and the panic that comes with it.

Elegy for the long player

We met the Great One in 1989, when he introduced himself to us with high notes hit by bat and vocal chord. Tendulkar may have two children, but for my generation he is always favourite son. Then the rest came. In 1990, The Precise One, a scholarly warrior who unveiled his spinning craft with devotion; in 1992, The Defiant One, a steely, stylish man of amusing, aristocratic belligerence; in 1996, The Intense One, cricket's student who batted like a monk upholding a vow of discipline; and finally The Elegant One, who was a Japanese haiku master in a previous life.

They were, and are, our champions, our companions, our obsessions, our sporting best days and our very worst, a part of the calendar of our lives. Remembering the last time I went home to Kolkata requires no thought: it's when VVS Laxman wrote his finest concerto. Whenever life seemed to get away from us, when the water dried in the tap on a hot day, and bosses stank, there was always them. When Tendulkar stood on tiptoe to drive, as if God had him by the collar, or Sourav Ganguly hit an off-side drive with such style he might well have been wearing a tuxedo, life somehow got better.

But if these men once exuded a certainty, now it is less so. Confidence comes, then it dries. Tendulkar has no control over his body's misbehaviour, Rahul Dravid no idea why technique abandoned him for a while without even a farewell note, Ganguly no certain explanation why timing briefly eluded him. Mind and body are in a slow divorce. These men have fought and defeated everything: selectors, derision, pitches, Australians, but age is beyond beating. Of course there are five-wicket hauls left in them, and strong centuries, and even great series, but they will arrive at a slower frequency. So why not go, leave to an applauding nation; why sit, in cricketing middle age, alone at home, as Ganguly must have, waiting for a phone call? He was reprieved, but still it's intriguing how many heroes become tragedies.

..................


Once more into the breach, for old time's sake

© AFP



Does MSD know the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Every day a new thing to crib about

This is a rant. A very short one.

A series of unfortunate events, all of them going against me. Small, but all compounding the unfairness. Reliance phone fuck up. Then scheme fuck up. Then the call centre employees. The 5 visits to the shop. And that is just one story.

In Calcutta, on the way to home from my office, there is a series of traffic lights which trigger one after the other. As in, you wait the entire red light out, it goes green, you go 20 paces up, another red light, which would just go red about 2 seconds after the previous one goes green. I am sure someone somewhere thought of that as a smart idea. But every day. Every day. No, perhaps I am not bringing in the requisite emotion intended. EVERY FUCKING DAY I go through that

...............


You see how these go? Non stop rants and anger and unfairness. I do not want to write this way. I would not rather write at all

Friday, April 24, 2009

KKR vs Raj Royals SUPER OVER

2:45 PM me: Did you see the match yesterday?
I presume not?
Satish: no, I was at that play...
I heard it was a last over nail biter???
me: it was the most brilliant match till date
watched it till 1 am
AMMMMAZING
Satish: wow... the IPL is warming up...
2:46 PM I was getting terribly dissapointed with RCB's performance....
me: It was heartbreaking in a way that KKR lost
Saurav Ganguli had put in EVERYTHING
and Shane Warne had put in everything
Satish: this is just not his year man...
me: People at the stadium were fucking screwed man
Satish: (saurav's)
2:47 PM me: Chris Gayle and Yusuf Pathan
Uff
if you get to see the highlights see it
somehow
Satish: Yusuf pathan is rocking man....
2:48 PM me: Arrey boss, in the super over
it was so crazy
Satish: what super over??? new concept???
me: Shane Warne gave the balling to the same guy who had done the last over of the match
The match got tied
there were 7 runs required off the last over
2:49 PM 1st ball wide
so 6 required off six
it went on like that
to 2 off 2
Ganguly got out on that ball
2 required off 1
then last ball, Ishaant Sharma hit one
and ran
1 run
Match tied
Now super over
2:50 PM Satish: wow...
me: Choose any baller
bowler
one over
any 2 batsmen of the opposite team
max runs
then the other team same
whoever makes more runs wins in that over
KKR starts to bat
Satish: no getting out???
me: sends in Chris Gayle (who was fucking balls like they were it's bitch)
2:51 PM if you get out, next man in
Satish: ok..
me: but then again, if there is a tie, no of wickets would determine
and Brendon McCullum instead of Saurav Gangulu
Though SG had played probably the innings of the last 4 years
and was hitting fuckin brilliant
2:52 PM Shane Warne himself does NOT come on
for the over
he gives the ball to an 18 year old
This boy called Kamran Khan
he is a woodcutter's son, having NO exposure to cricket
brb
2:55 PM Satish: IS THIS THE WAY TO TELL A SUSPENSE FILLED STORY...???
2:56 PM FINISH IT FAST....

7 minutes
3:04 PM me: ok quickly now
1st ball wide
everyone's tensions building up
close up on shilpa shetty
Satish: yeah yeah...
me: close up on SRK
Satish: fuck... that is so filmy...
me: Shane Warne , Graeme Smith
both run to K Khan
pat his back
Warne says something quick
3:05 PM Satish: hmm...
me: and K Khan apparently doesn't get english
3:06 PM Satish: huh? yeah... complicated...
then what does KKhan do?
3:07 PM me: "Hamein nahi pata woh kya bolein. Bahut fast Angrezi bolte hain." [I don't know what he said. He speaks English very rapidly]
Rajasthan Royals bowler Kamran Khan can't understand the compliments showered on him by his captain Shane Warne

Apr 13, 2009
He smiles
everyone is unsure
He bowls a fast second one
Gayle hits, doesn't connect, catch miss
1 run
Next ball
McCullum
3:08 PM 1 run
Gayle back on strike
2 balls done
Satish: 2 balls... 3 runs...
me: 2 runs
abey nahi bhosdi ke
Satish: wide?
me: tu galat kahani sun raha hai
this is super over ki kahani
not last over of drawn match
3:09 PM Satish: i know... but the first ball was wide right?
plus 2 runs...?
me: haan, sorry, 2 ball 3 run
Satish: :)
me: then 3rd legitimate ball
Gayle SLAMS
4
4th ball, SLAM 4
3:10 PM Satish: 3 balls ... 7 runs....
me: 5th ball, SLAMMMM 4
Satish: 4 balls 11 runs...
5 balls 15 runs...
me: SRK standing up on seat
Shilpa Shetty, Shamita Shetty
crazed
Warne takes 5 mins
to set field again
everyone tense
Gayle cool
3:11 PM holding the bat in his hand like a toothpick
not a word
K Khan runs, slam, hits, caught on the boundary
target 16 runs to win in 1 over
Ganguly is shown in background
Satish: hmm...
me: tense
cannot sit
3:12 PM talking to coach, irritated with himself for having got out on 2nd last ball
which is why the whole scene happened
SRK properly feeling
hmmm
this can be done
KKR over to be bowled by Ajantha Mendis
Mindfuck bowling by Mendis in the match
4 overs went for some 21 runs
3:13 PM took the wickets of the two wham slam batsmen Smith and Yusuf Pathan
Satish: hm....
me: Mendis is an army man
he is doing impossible push ups
commentators saying, man i coudln't do that
yusuf pathan and ravinder jadeja will bat for rajasthan royals
16 to win
big, but not too big
3:14 PM Satish: right...
me: Commentators pointing out that Yusuf Pathan will face mendis
the same mendis who took his wicket half an hour back
crazed tension
replays being shown of mendis bowling
hushed stadium
1st ball
Yusuf Pathan gets on his knees, WHAMMMMMMM
6
3:15 PM Satish: wow...
me: first ball
Commentators screaming
DOES THIS SET IT UP
W
WOW
Does this set it up
yusuf pathan looking motherfucking crazy
3:16 PM 2nd ball, SLAM, miss, ball high in the air
dropped on the field
Anybody's match
this that yeh woh
Satish: 4 balls 10 to win...
me: SRK trying to be calm when all tense
the first six replays
ball apparently went 20 rows back
3:17 PM 3rd ball, Yusuf Pathan still on strike
WHAMMMMMM
Yusuf Pathan didn't get this in the middle of the bat
Probably that is why it only went back 10 rows from the boundary
6
Satish: heh...
me: 3 balls 14 runs
Satish: 4 runs from 3 balls...
3:18 PM me: 3 balls, 2 runs to win
Satish: abey... do 6 is 12...
me: plus 2 is 14
16 to win
Satish: okay you missed the two runs on the second balls...
okay, 3 balls, 2 runs to win...
3:19 PM me: Shilpa Shetty Screaming by now
Satish: that must have been a sight... no???
me: EVERYONE on the stadium on the edge of their seats
3:20 PM 4th ball, Yusuf Pathan swings, pierces the leg side field
4
Satish: bhai.. he won it single handedly...
3:21 PM me: totally
and the point is you cannot look at the super over in isolation
Shane Warne had played a brilliant match, but Chris Gayle had hit a motherfucking 41
Satish: i know...
me: straight crazy sixes
All that organizing and WHAM
he would go
3:22 PM the bastard was limping, he was hurt
to which the commentators are saying, Beware the wounded batsman
and told 10 stories about batsmen who were enjoyed and hence fuck the bowling in irritation
Satish: he couldn't run... he din't intend to....
3:23 PM me: exactly
just SLAM
and the ball felt like it was wrenched HIGH HIGH HIGH
3:24 PM "This year I'm sleeping with all of them."
Shah Rukh Khan, the owner of the Kolkata Knight Riders, provides rather more information than necessary when asked how he plans to get the best out of his team

Apr 15, 2009
"FIFA has been working here for eight years, we have been here for 22 days."
Lalit Modi takes a dig at FIFA in their apparent struggle to organise the Confederations Cup in South Africa in June

Apr 17, 2009
"I get a lot of hate mail which blame me for all the decisions taken within Kolkata Knight Riders. I've saved them and I want to go around to all the houses and say 'Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo' ... suck on this."
Dreams unlimited for Shah Rukh Khan, the owner of the Kolkata Knight Riders, for season two of the IPL

Apr 21, 2009
Satish: think about lalit modi man...
3:25 PM he must be having a constant hard on....
me: oh yes
he went down and was talking to SRK non stop
Satish: 'Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo' what does this mean...?
3:27 PM me: Korbo = Karenge = Will do
Lorbo = Will fight
Jeetbo = Will win
Satish: ok...


The thrilling match, the best till date described in much better detail at crininfo here.


Yusuf Pathan swings a six, Kolkata Knight Riders v Rajasthan Royals, IPL, 10th match, Cape Town, April 23, 2009
Yusuf Pathan hit seven fours and four sixes in all to ensure a thrilling win for Rajasthan Royals
© AFP

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Bitch, Be Cool!




Jules: Now Yolanda, we're not gonna do anything stupid, are we?
Yolanda: You don't hurt him.
Jules: Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what's Fonzie like?
Yolanda: Cool?
Jules: What?
Yolanda: He's cool.
Jules: Correctamundo. And that's what we're gonna be. We're gonna be cool. Now Ringo, I'm gonna count to three, and when I count three, you let go of your gun, and sit your ass down. But when you do it, you do it cool. Ready? One... two... three.
[Ringo sits down opposite Jules]
Yolanda: All right, now you let him go.
Jules: Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that's when motherfuckers accidentally get shot.
Yolanda: You just know, you touch him, you die.
Jules: Well, that seems to be the situation. But I don't want that. And you don't want that. And Ringo here *definitely* doesn't want that.

----------------------------

Jules: Yolanda? How we doin, baby?
Yolanda: I gotta go pee! I want to go home.
Jules: Just hang in there, baby. You're doing' great. Ringo's proud of you and so am I. It's almost over. Tell her you're proud of her.
Pumpkin: I'm proud of you, Honey Bunny.
Yolanda: I love you!
Pumpkin: I love you too, Honey Bunny.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Anurag Kashyap - Lightning Rod Strikes Twice

A brutally honest and engaging picture of Anurag Kashyap, from Tehelka Magazine, Vol 6, Issue 13, Dated Apr 04, 2009

Lightning Rod Strikes Twice

After years in the Bollywood wilderness, Anurag Kashyap is now enjoying his status as its newest wunderkind, says NISHA SUSAN

image
Band on.......finally Anurag Kashyap, on set and off







A week ago, a beautiful young woman dining in a small Versova restaurant asked, “Who is Anurag Kashyap? Is he the director of Fashion?” Gasps rose from the crowded table. It was an exceptionally bad place to ask this question since Kashyap was sitting at the same table and all around were the fanatic Passion For Cinema (PFC) bloggers. Vasan Bala, Kashyap’s amiable assistant director from Dev D who had confessed with comic alarm that he had only got 8 out of 10 on a Dev D quiz, had come in for much teasing. For those at the table who saw no shame in knowing the running time of obscure movies, the young woman’s question put her beyond mere mockery, into the realm of legend.

At his quiet Andheri office that morning 36-year-old Kashyap had answered phone calls with demonic satisfaction and frequently hung up laughing. With the release of Gulaal the previous day the process of declaring him a success, a trend begun with Dev D, had taken on new heat and lubricant. Big stars who would earlier never take his calls sent messages asking to be in any new project. A producer called saying that he had taken friends to watch Gulaal to prove that a new Bollywood has arrived. Kashyap said, “I wait a decade for this film to be made and he is the one doing the proving?’” But as the calls kept coming in, even that trace of bitterness seemed to disappear.

Now Kashyap looked startled at the question and then guffawed with hand-rubbing enjoyment. “No, Anurag Kashyap is the director of the Fashion Statement.” The young woman remained serene, unaware of the decade that had passed for him to reach a point where his new-found success could also be mocked, not clawed at.

Kashyap had first exploded into our lives in 1998 when he (and Saurabh Shukla) Ram Gopal Verma’s Satya. He was one of the first script-writers to write a non-Urdu based dialogue. But instead of using a deracinated, functional Hindi in his 20 odd scripts, his tongue was as informed by pulp-fiction superstar Surinder Mohan Pathak as by Prem Chand. When he went on to make films they were unpredictable, layered experiences. The result was cinema as fond of Bob Fosse as Majid Majidi, where the unabashed surrealism of No Smoking was cheek-to-cheek with one of the world’s best chase sequences (Black Friday). Kashyap’s films, are often accused of being dark or incomprehensible but with throwaway gags and rich situations, the comic rages through his work. With cinematographer Rajeev Ravi, a man as silent as Kashyap is loquacious, new visual styles were developed; passion was sniffed out in dingy chicken-coops and Paharganj rooms. In the newest movies, the soundtracks too have been addictive and intelligent.

But no one cared while the angry, whinging Kashyap seemed like bad luck that might rub off. Not in 2004 when Black Friday was stalled by a court order. Not in 2006 when Gulaal was canned after 80 percent of the work had been done. Not in 2003 when Paanch was held back by the censors. He was told he ought to stop making films. Only the most educated film buffs defended him. In the depths of despair in 2006 Kashyap shocked his friends by sending out a mass SMS to everyone in the industry asking for help. No one responded except John Abraham who sweetly bought him a ticket to LA so he could have a change of scene. There Kashyap wrote No Smoking a dark allegory about individualism. Critics laughed at it and called the festival favourite Black Friday (also released in 2007) a fluke. When UTV Spotboy’s Rucha Pathak wrote to Kashyap saying she was interested in his projects, he responded with an angry tirade, so used was he to rejection.

And now suddenly it was uncool to not have an informed opinion about Dev D. Aditya Chopra, whose iconic mustard fields were forever subverted by Paro and her rolled-up mattress, loved his work. Vishal Bhardwaj was so excited by Dev D he wanted to hold a press conference to just talk about it. The Twilight Players of Dev D were mobbed in Punjab. ‘Emotional atyachaar’, ‘Paro, do you touch yourself?’ and the Gulaal mujra have all entered pop culture. UTV Spotboy was inundated with scripts that declared themselves ‘small-budget and different’. But immediately after Dev D, Kashyap told his long-suffering friends that he understood failure, he was not sure what to do with success.

Kashyap has had practice in working past self-pity. His father, who worked for the UP state electricity board, thought he was doing the right thing by sending him to a ‘good’ boarding school. But his childhood is a dark, wide memory of being beaten by schoolmates and sexually abused by adult neighbours. “It made me sexually dysfunctional and frequently depressed,” he says. When he came to Delhi he built muscles and a reputation in college for being violent. “I had no intention of going through it all again.”

A few years ago he finally talked to his family about his abuse. Recently he forced himself to visit his abusers, look them in the eye and forgive them but as a father he is constantly reminded of them. He loves his ten-year-old Aaliya who bosses him around and courts him coyly in the manner of feisty little girls everywhere. “I am so careful about the way in which I touch her,” says Kashyap.

In college he was still insecure about being a Benaras boy. But all around him were magnificent examples of unapologetic living. One night a young woman scandalised the boys’ hostel with her presence. The next morning she wandered into the gossipy mess hall wearing her lover’s shirt and ate a large breakfast. Another woman told a casual letch that she would string his balls up on a tree. She and other women became his closest friends, participants in his quest to know What Women are Like. Bhikku Matre’s wife Pyaari, Paro, Chanda, the androgynous dancers of No Smoking, the women of Gulaal --- within an oeuvre of highly masculine movies Kashyap has given us some fascinating women. In a cinema most afflicted by moralising, Kashyap refuses to sit in judgment. (On everything but taste. He has been known to give his new actors books and movies to see their reactions.)

Though his parents have found it difficult to deal with their restless, casually outrageous son, Kashyap inspires strong familial loyalty in others. Rucha Pathak, Kashyap’s UTV Spotboy producer treats him like a brother, exhorting him to not talk so much, telling him that he should not behave like the world owes him everything, calls him a pain and a delight. Piyush Mishra, veteran theatre actor and creator of Gulaal’s astonishing soundtrack, is convinced that Kashyap is a son from another birth. Mishra was a hero admired from afar in Kashyap’s theatre days. “Some people don’t ask to be let in or knock. They come into your lives as if they have always been there.” In lieu of a fond parent, Mishra is the one who recites stories peppered with profanities and gleaned from Kashyap’s siblings, of the boy who pretended carom boards were movie theatres while other people played house-house, of his stubborn ability to keep saying no politely to the powerful, of his going out of his way to help someone, of his honesty, his loyalty.

Years ago, filmmaker Imtiaz Ali came to his Hindu College digs one evening and found a muscular, bespectacled young man at his door. Kashyap had come in search of Ali because he had heard he was helping cast actors for a television serial. (“He said, “I have a portfolio.” I said, “What is that?”) The serial never took off but they saw a lot of each other because they were theatre-mad. Ali says he remembers vaguely wondering whether he should emulate Kashyap’s focused approach to work. When Ali moved to Mumbai and pragmatically joined an advertising course he lost touch with Kashyap.One evening he came back to the Xavier’s hostel and found Kashyap waiting among the trees. He had moved to Mumbai hoping to join the Xavier’s filmmaking course but had been too late for admission. Kashyap had no roof over his head so Ali invited him to stay a while illegally in his hostel room.

In those years there were many days when Kashyap lived on the street. “I used to sleep on that traffic island,” Kashyap will point out for you near Lokhandwala, “between those two lamp posts to protect me from oncoming traffic. Even later when he was working for Zee he still had homeless days. “But my loo was in the Taj” says Kashyap with vicious pleasure. Kashyap smoothed Ali into his first well-paying job in Mumbai and rejoiced when in a couple of years Ali went from earning Rs 1,500 a month to Rs 40,000.

Ali’s life is fused forever with Kashyap but he gives Kashyap less leeway than most. Ali says bluntly, “Anurag has had trouble making his movies and has been depressed. It is not that uncommon. At least he has the chance to keep making movies.” And that is a blessing to be examined.

The Kashyap cult is currently feeling avenged for their years in the shadows. This tight net of loyalty and love is what can send the newly successful Kashyap meandering into Ram Gopal Varma territory, a world where everyone agrees with him. The sometimes insightful, sometimes incoherent PFC blogs (which he was instrumental in starting at a time when independent cinema was barely mentioned in the mainstream media) frequently run the danger of turning into a Passion for Anurag space. If his next film bears more than Dev D’s streaks of self-indulgence, would his fierce loyalists stop him?

Kashyap says he does not want to be steam-rolled into making movies now that he smells like success. He says, “I’m afraid of what kind of movies I will make on this high. That’s why I am not making anything for a while and I am deliberately scaling down our budgets and equipment.” This week he wrote testily on PFC exhorting people to put their money where their mouth is. “Where are the discussions on Firaaq and Barah Aana, both of which I saw in an empty theatre today? If none of these films work prepare yourself to go back to the cinema we have tried so hard to leave behind.”

Kashyap never gives up on projects. He lives with them for years in his head then writes them in a 36-hour flurry. On the sets he is a restless presence, redrafting dozens of times, talking continuously, a trail of paper and energy, convinced that this particular attack of acidity is a heart attack and he needs to go to hospital. He works intuitively, smelling out what an actor or a location would add to the film, sifting through a lifetime of literary and cinematic references. Sriram Raghavan, one of his oldest friends in Mumbai is convinced Kashyap single-handedly kept Mumbai’s Lotus Books in the black for years.

In his office, Kashyap is an optical illusion: sometimes just another writer typing away. At other times, his shoulders are too big, eyes too wicked for the small room. In one corner hangs an Allwyn Kalicharan poster that looks fresh though it is five years old. In a dystopic Delhi (renamed Hastinapur) Allwyn Kalicharan was to be a superhero for our times. When Anil Kapoor pulled out of the project, Kashyap was enraged by producers who said that no one would understand the film. Not as enraged as later, when the release of Sin City prompted lazy producers to show an interest in Allwyn. He is currently writing Doga a superhero film. He likes Doga, a Raj Comics superhero without superpowers, only emotional intensity. Doga’s warped mind creates the monsters he fights later. It will be interesting to see what Kashyap does with the metaphor since he is currently on a break from fighting his monsters.

Kalki Koechlin, his girlfriend, is credited with much of the new calm. It has been three years since he and his editor wife Aarti Bajaj split (‘she was sick of my drinking and depression but we still work together.’) His relationships with actor Ayesha Mohan probably did not help. Kashyap falls in love obsessively but Kalki came into his life unbidden and slowly.

The search for the perfect Chanda was taking on epic proportions. Audition tapes were crammed full of young actors writhing, moaning, faking orgasms unconvincingly for what was seen as a ‘sexy’ part. Kashyap rejected Kalki’s portfolio saying, “I don’t want any white-girl model types.” He didn’t even stay for her audition. But ten minutes later, when Kashyap saw her tapes, Kalki was summoned back. Kashyap had found his Chanda. Chanda of the full lips and schoolgirl rawness. Generous, vulnerable, alternately clowning and seductive, Kalki’s Chanda was flawed but luminous. Restless Kalki juggled on the sets so Chanda did too.

Kalki was interested in everything about filmmaking and soon became Kashyap’s Girl Friday.After the movie was done Kashyap flew to America, a country whose self-fashioning tragedy -- the 9/11 attacks -- he mocked blandly in Gulaal. (It is also a country he admires greatly for its creative license. He badly wanted to cite Narendra Modi’s excesses in Gulaal.) In America Kashyap discovered he had grown ‘accustomed to her face’. He called Kalki and bumbled his confession. Kalki only slightly suspicious of directors who come bearing gifts was ready to be wooed. “All the biriyani which he kept cooking for me then to impress me, I don’t see any of it now,” Kalki jokes.

In an industry where romantic relationships are rarely acknowledged openly they have been very open in their affection. Kashyap has declared himself a new man, someone who leaves parties early, shuttles between his hardworking office and book-strewn household. A diet chart is tacked prominently near his desk and Kalki’s theatrical collaborator, Prashant Prakash wanders in and out of his office with as much ease as Aamir’s young director Rajkumar Gupta.

In college Kashyap’s classmates used to mock him for hanging out almost exclusively with his juniors by calling him BKD, Bachchon Ka Dada. Kashyap today is surrounded by extremely ambitious young writer-directors jostling with ideas. This year he intends to produce four of their best scripts. Kashyap and his contemporaries Imtiaz Ali, Sriram and Sridhar Raghavan, Shivam Nair, Nishikant Kamat have broken industry conventions by sharing their scripts at every stage, showing their first cut to each other, critics and the public. They have made collaboration cool. And these collaborators are the most pleased with Kashyap’s success, happy that his restlessness may now be accompanied by contemplation.

We will forever have the grit and wit of Kashyap’s movies, if also its bouts of self-indulgence. Up ahead in the next few years are a Guru Dutt biopic and Bombay Velvet, a noir set in 1960s Mumbai, all jazz and newsprint. With luck we will also have the monster-baiting Kashyap.

WRITER’S EMAIL
nishasusan@tehelka.com


From Tehelka Magazine, Vol 6, Issue 13, Dated Apr 04, 2009

Friday, April 17, 2009

Quote of the day

Maya Angelou - "Nothing will work unless you do."

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Forbidden City



Forbidden City
History of the Forbidden City

There is a palace called The Palace of Heavenly Purity. No particular reason for posting it, except right now, I would love to be in a place (or a palace) of Heavenly Purity.


This up above is the one.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Have you heard of John Kacere?

Three connections here. The film Lost in Translation, Scarlett Johansson's ass, and well, my interest in both.

Link to an amateur analysis of the opening shot of the film Lost in Translation,

This is an academic exploration of Scarlett Johansson’s ass. Do not view it as salacious material. Do not! Stop it! Scroll down to see the argument.

The ass shot that opens Lost in Translation. My first reaction: groan of disgust. Why is this necessary. Why would a female director start her film this way. What does this have to do with anything. Why do I suddenly want to *shake* Sofia Coppola.

But now I think it may be beautiful. The film is very much about a girl having trouble growing up. She is a girl in a woman’s body. Her panties are little-girly-pink, yet see-through. Childlike and adult, at once. It’s not a thong. We see that she’s wearing a sweater. Not naked, not just a bra, but a sweater. And she stirs, moving one of her legs. A woman resting, not a woman displaying herself for you. Her back is turned to you. She is thinking, she is in her world, she is not for you.

So the shot is appropriate. It fits. The friend I saw the movie with didn’t like the choice of actress, she said she was too young, that she couldn’t nail the part, she didn’t have the complexity. That a 19-year-old playing a 25-year-old was a bad move. You usually go the other direction in casting. Get a 28-year-old to play a 25-year-old. But the point here is that this girl is in some way still stuck being a little girl. An older actress would bring maturity, but the role does not want maturity. Maturity would ruin it.

And this leads into the daddyism. Bill Murray is not just a charismatic guy, he’s a daddy figure. A guy who treats her like his little girl. Makes a big deal out of the boo-boo on her foot, takes her to the hospital. Grabs the menu and orders for her when she can’t figure out the sushi menu. Gives her life advice.

This is a movie written by a daddy’s girl. Not surprising that in an interview Sofia Coppola said that her father starred in a Santori whiskey ad in Japan.

Je’ points out that this person’s images were inspiration for the ass shot that opens Lost in Translation. I could rationalize Sofia’s use, but not his. His seem like pure posed-for-male-pleasure cheesecake. That ass is jutting out and on display and wearing a baby-doll negligee. And if Coppola admits that his work was the inspiration, it beefs up all the reasons I’m uncomfortable with her depiction of women in her films. That she had to convince Scarlet to do the shot makes it even worse. She’s treading a very, very fine line here.


More dedication here.

About John Kacere? He is an Andy Warhol for the female butt! Have a look.

Kacere was born in Iowa and started out as an abstract artist. In 1963, he began making paintings of women, often of their midsections and usually of their crotches or butts, and kept at it until his death in 1999. Was he a cheesecake artist or a respectable photorealist? He explained his work this way: "Woman is the source of all life, the source of regeneration. My work praises that aspect of womanhood."

The Smith & Warne Co.- Rajasthan Royals

Man, the IPL is doing things! First Graeme Smith and Shane Warne in the same team. The former playing UNDER the latter as captain! And then to hear Warne talk about Smith like this!

Shane Warne during a game of backyard cricket with Formula 1 drivers, Melbourne, March 26, 2009

He said he had become "good buddies" with Smith after spending some time together during the inaugural IPL, and added that the latter had matured as a captain, too. "We had a few beers after the first game and chatted about a lot of stuff," he said. "We hung out a fair bit. We've kept in touch since then and become good buddies. They [South Africa] have done well. He's matured a bit too. He came in at a young age and wanted to try and mix it. He didn't want to take a backward step. He was so verbal and public about everything. We won 5-0 [in 2005/06] and I said to him the other day, when something's not working, try to do something else. Don't just continue and let the ego get in the way. He said, 'yeah, yeah, I've learned my lesson'. He learned a lot about himself and how things work. He's matured into a good captain."


Also, as usual, he is building up footage with a new secret weapon,

He shared his shortlist of Rajasthan's potential stars of this IPL with the South Africa-based Sunday Times newspaper and included Kamran, who bowled just one over against Cape Cobras in a warm-up on Saturday, alongside India players Ravindra Jadeja and Yusuf Pathan. Indian media reported that Kamran, who bowled Cobras' Justin Ontong with an off-stump yorker in that over, is the son of a woodcutter who gained his shoulder strength from cutting wood in Azamgarh in Uttar Pradesh in north India. He is yet to play first-class cricket and was reportedly signed by Rajasthan Royals for Rs12 lakh (US$24,000) a year after Darren Berry, the assistant coach, spotted him at a local tournament in Mumbai.

The team, which had nicknames for each player to pin down his role in the side, is reportedly on the verge of finalising one for Kamran. "We've got one young player who's going to be very interesting," Warne said. "We're tossing up now what his nickname is going to be -- Wild Thing or Tornado, something like that. Kamran Khan is a young kid, a left-armer, a slinger, he doesn't speak much English at the moment. He's a tiny little guy but he bowls 140 plus.
All and more here.

P.S. It can be called The Smith & Watson Co. as well. The imagery is not too different.

WHOMPING THE YAK in the store

My previous job was on Research on shopper behavior inside the store, and I have spent many an hour standing inside malls and shops watching people move around a store, noticing and penning down small little details of their path inside the store, the aisle they stopped at, for the number of seconds they looked at the back of the packaging, at what point in the store does the guy in the couple split from the lady.

I know. It sounded fascinating to me as well. Which is why I joined.

Long story.

The reason for bringing it up this morning is well, this article by Dave Barry.

I can't shop with my wife. The problem is that she almost never has a clear objective. I ALWAYS have a clear objective. Without a clear objective, you're just wandering randomly around a store, which is NOT the point of shopping.

This is not just my opinion: This is the opinion of literally thousands of Nobel Prize-winning scientists whose names are available upon request. These scientists have traced the origins of shopping back to prehistoric times, when ''shopping'' was called ''hunting'' and primitive man would make out his ''shopping list'' by drawing, on his cave wall, a picture of his objective, usually a large wad of meat in the form of, say, a yak. He would then go out into the wild, locate his objective, and make the ''purchase'' by whomping the yak on the head with a club. This primitive shopper did not dilly-dally. He did not ask whether the yak was on sale. He did not try to accessorize the yak. No, he just WHOMPED THE YAK, and then he dragged it home, stopping only to whomp the primitive sales guys who tried to force him to purchase the service agreement.

This is the biological basis for shopping. And this is why, even today, most men, when they shop, are yak-whompers. They do not wander: They go straight for the kill. I know I do.


Monday, April 13, 2009

Connections in the head - Rashmirathi, Anurag Kashyap,Les Liaisons Dangereuses


How did I reach to what this blogpost is about?

  1. Thinking of Anurag Kashyap's genius while watching the Making of Dev D dvd on saturday evening.
  2. Repeat 1 on Sunday afternoon.
  3. Repeat 2 - the making of Emosanal Atyachaar & then the changeover to Emotional Atyachaar along with Amit Trivedi and Amitabh Bhattacharya. Repeat thought in head. Genius at work.
  4. Think about writing of Anurag Kashyap as an idol. Haven't had many. Isaac Newton when I was a kid. Karna, from Mahabharata in the teenage years. and that is pretty much it.
  5. Search for Rashmirathi on wikipedia. That was the book that had got me entranced about Karna. Find this, Recent hindi movie "Gulaal" directed by Anurag Kashyap, has got rendition of Dinkar's poem "Ye dekh gagan mujh mein lay hai" from rashmirathi chapter 3, performed by Piyush Mishra.

    दो न्याय अगर तो आधा दो, और, उसमें भी यदि बाधा हो,
    तो दे दो केवल पाँच ग्राम, रक्खो अपनी धरती तमाम।
    हम वहीं खुशी से खायेंगे,
    परिजन पर असि न उठायेंगे!

    लेकिन दुर्योधन
    दुर्योधन वह भी दे ना सका, आशीष समाज की दे न सका,
    उलटे, हरि को बाँधने चला, जो था असाध्य, साधने चला।

    हरि ने भीषण हुंकार किया, अपना स्वरूप-विस्तार किया,
    डगमग-डगमग दिग्गज डोले, भगवान् कुपित होकर बोले-
    'जंजीर बढ़ा कर साध मुझे,
    हाँ, हाँ दुर्योधन! बाँध मुझे।

    यह देख, गगन मुझमें लय है, यह देख, पवन मुझमें लय है,
    मुझमें विलीन झंकार सकल, मुझमें लय है संसार सकल।

    सब जन्म मुझी से पाते हैं,
    फिर लौट मुझी में आते हैं।

    यह देख जगत का आदि-अन्त, यह देख, महाभारत का रण,

    मृतकों से पटी हुई भू है,
    पहचान, कहाँ इसमें तू है।

  6. Understand that the world must really be round. Try searching for Karna on my blog. Probably I might have written about him before?
  7. Valmont comes up.
  8. Search for Les Liaisons Dangereuses. Find nothing for a while, and then, this delightful shorty comes up,
    Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Choderlos de Laclos, thoroughly abridged by the Marquis Déjà Dû
    PART the FIRST

    bar



    …being a succinct and modern adaptation of the blackest of all fairy tales — the most pernicious of all volumes of correspondence — and the most depraved of all soap operas. What follows is a melted-down, essential extract of Laclos' loquacious (yet oh-so-fabulous) one-hit-wonder of 1784. The poetic license taken in this abridgement is dubious, for while it's perhaps in poor artistic taste to sum up a brilliantly penned four page letter from Valmont to Tourvel by saying, "But I reeeeeealy love you!" — that's really all that was said!

    — bon aventure, m.d.d.
  9. Reach a hip reading list
    How do I know if this reading list is right for me?
    The fact that you're reading this is a good argument in itself. But further, if you answer yes to one or more of the following criteria, then we think you'll find the below selections inspirational:
    • When watching a movie or reading a tragical book, you always find yourself rooting for an inappropriate character.
    • You used to write dismal poetry, and still have it tucked away in some drawer, though you'd sooner die than have it read.
    • You gain spiritual & sexual gratification from reading about the depravities of your ancestors.
    • Out of a childlike sense wonder, you reach out and touch a Van Gogh when security isn't looking, thereby leaving a fingerprint in the still tacky paint for posterity.


Kind of confused about what to post about now. The only thing I can see of myself here is the connections in the head.


P.S. Complete audio rendition of Rashmirathi. And scanned copy of the text (parts). Links here. Youtube link of oration by Manas Baveja.

This part used to be as popular in elocution contests as was Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears speech by Mark Anthony in Julius Caesar. Both involved vigorous hand movements and were done to death by excited schoolboys (as an icon of emotional rhetoric, or so wikipedia tells me), all in different tones and tenors.

Three scanned pages from here.






Friday, April 10, 2009

Gentleman 1998-2001

The magazine Gentleman was the formative magazine that I grew up with. It told me about music I should listen to, books I should read, and films that should be seen. Back in Patna, bereft of any company that seemed to even know about such a world, forget accessing and liking it, this was no less than an exotic relationship for me.

I still have fond memories of the stack of Gentleman that I had and would shift it place to place and refuse to throw out a single one.

I chanced upon Jaideep Varma, who since then has gone on to become a novelist, and his music writing for the magazine here.

Every word of what he has written here is true. I owe my musical tastes to this man.

Seven Notes & the Muse

In 1998, India’s most adventurous literary magazine Gentleman began to devote four pages in every issue to popular music. It started as a series of 2200 to 3000-word essays on singer-songwriters who changed popular music, as we knew it.

The main focus was to give prospective listeners an idea of what was available. As the main contributor to this series, I saw it as my personal tribute to musicians and their work that had meant a lot to me, without losing sight of the agenda of being a sort of a guide to people who might have wanted to be initiated into that music.

We never thought of target groups, sample sizes or any of that stuff. Perhaps that is what made the pieces heartfelt and sponteneous.

The series caught on very quickly. The Internet wasn’t the force it is now, but even now it is difficult to get pieces of this length, that balance information and subjective expressions on these musicians and their work.

The success of this series led to a 50% increase to the number of pages devoted to music. There began a sponsored series on India popular music (non-Bollywood) that also received a pretty good response. In October 1999, a whole issue of Gentleman was devoted to music – a Western Music Special. The tremendous response to that led to an Indian Music Special in June 2000. There were also other pieces on popular music – reviews of (usually enthusiasms on) new albums released and the like.

Sadly, in October 2001, Gentleman was forced to wind up, as its overall literary (and sometimes esoteric) slant was not seen as viable to its funders.

It has been four years now since its demise, yet murmurs of regret can still be heard, on the Web and even in the mainstream press. As the main contributor to the music section, I’m still surprised by strangers who respond to my name by bringing up the Gentleman pieces; some have even said that it shaped their music tastes. Clearly, those pieces (especially the songwriters series) had touched a chord in a lot of people.

Obviously, it is the the musicians who should get the credit for that. This was a celebration of their work, and ultimately if that music had not spoken to those people, they would definitely not have remembered what had led them there.

A lot of people have been urging me to set up a blog with those pieces. I’m finally doing it, figuring that if the music hasn’t dated, the pieces wouldn’t either.

I only have my pieces so I’m putting them up. Hopefully, gradually, others who contributed during that period will use this space to do the same.

The “Great Songwriters” pieces (totalling just 14 here, by no means comprehensive) are here.

The Music Special Issue of 1999, and its rock/ pop/ soul recommendations are here.

The pieces on Indian and Pakistani popular music are here.

Between 2000 and 2004, I worked full-time on a novel called Local that got published in April 2005. The webpage on the book is here.

Narcissism meets storage, I guess. Hopefully, it'll be useful to some in other ways.

Jaideep Varma
August 2005

Beleagured teams & beguiling leg spinners

A few yards away at a quiet table their captain, one of the game's greatest batsmen and an instantly recognisable face, is talking like the boss of an ailing business: re-evaluation, renewal and opportunity. "We're going through what any other international team, whatever the sport, goes through," he says in a matter-of-fact manner that does not begin to do justice to the magnitude of the upheavals in Australian cricket over the past two years. Welcome to earth, Ricky.

"Matty … Gilly … McGrath … Warne … Langer." Ricky Ponting rattles off the names. He might as well have been saying "John, Paul, George and Ringo", such is the stellar familiarity of these all-time greats. Australia's line-up for the Sydney Ashes Test in January 2007 was: Justin Langer, Matthew Hayden, Ponting, Michael Hussey, Michael Clarke, Andrew Symonds, Adam Gilchrist, Shane Warne, Brett Lee, Stuart Clark, Glenn McGrath. Test caps: 787. Results since October 2005: P17, W16, D1, L0.

Their side that faced South Africa in Johannesburg in February read: Phillip Hughes, Simon Katich, Ponting, Hussey, Clarke, Marcus North, Brad Haddin, Andrew McDonald, Mitchell Johnson, Peter Siddle, Ben Hilfenhaus. Test caps: 287. Results since start of 2008 up to the start of that Test: P15, W6, D4, L5.

Awesome interview here with Ponting


And anecdotes about legspinners,

The googly even though discovered over a hundred years ago gives connoisseurs the same fresh pleasure every time it is bowled. Here is one that we draw from arguably one of the finest books by a cricketer. If you have read Arthur Mailey’s “10 for 66 and All That”, you will immediately recall the unforgettable chapter on Mailey’s first encounter with the ‘immortal Victor Trumper’. After all his anxiety and suspense, Mailey had a chance to bowl to him. A couple of perfectly good leg breaks were driven with absolute authority to the off-side ropes. Realizing that he might not get another over, Mailey decided to try his then newly invented googly. He tossed it up and saw Trumper coming down the wicket. The ball swerved out (unlike the leg break which would have drifted in). Trumper, uncertain, made the adjustment to play it away from his leg but the googly sneaked through between bat and pad. Trumper didn’t attempt to regain his crease; he just smiled at Mailey, shook his head and said “that was too good for me, son” and walked away. Mailey says he felt no triumph - he felt like a boy who had killed a dove.

Or this,

The best of stories need not be about those on top of the pile. We conclude with a gem about VV Kumar, a fine leg spinner who only played two Tests for India in 1960. This was narrated to Raghunath after he had played a good knock against VV Kumar in a club match at Chennai. Rangan, his cricket crazy captain at Nungambakkam Sports Club, ran the nets for not only his club but for all enthusiastic cricketers in South Madras. Top Madras cricketers would come to the nets in the early 60s and one of them was Kumar. It was during one such outing at the nets that Kumar bowling to Rangan – a good bat himself – impishly wagered that Rangan would not be able to even touch with his bat ten successive legitimate deliveries of his. This mind you, was on matting where the ball does not skid through. Rangan thought he would win the bet easily since even an edge would do. Later Rangan, recounting the scene in his inimitable style said that every ball from VV Kumar buzzed and sang and he could not fathom the turn or fizz even playing back and giving himself extra time and room to put bat to ball. To his utter dismay Kumar won the bet. Kumar in his heyday was that good.

The stories are endless. Leg spin is timeless, infinitely romantic. The fact is that on a placid wicket on the first day morning of a Test match, the fielding side captain depends on his leg spinner to turn on the magic. As the leg spinner and his captain discuss the field placements, as the leg spinner spins the ball from hand to hand, as he licks his fingers and approaches the bowling crease, every person watching the drama waits with bated breath. With a leg spinner as we only too well know, the possibilities are simply endless.

Hat Tip: Cricinfo

Why is the music so loud?

Well yes, they know.
You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.

The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring at you , and that's when you remember: You've been listening to your iPod.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

How to handle a bad boss?





This one's good, despite the cliched title.

From How to handle a bad boss? by Jeff Schmitt, BusinessWeek

Having to answer to a boss is a fact of working life. But what are your options when you're undermined by the person whose goodwill you need? Sure, you can lash out or call human resources. Unfortunately, companies are like Vegas casinos: The house always wins. Still, you have options. When the anger starts to boil, consider the following:

Don't act immediately

Initially, you'll want to fight back. You may fantasise about writing a blistering critique of your rotten boss. . . and e-mailing it to the CEO. And those thoughts aren't necessarily harmful. But thoughts don't have to lead to action. Sure, your boss may be small-minded, two-faced, spineless, and technically inept. But would a dramatic gesture be worth the lost salary? Is it worth a hole in your resume, the one you'll be explaining for years to come? This isn't the economy to choose pride over practicality.

Play the game

You were cheated or unfairly smeared. Welcome to the real world. But don't let it turn you sour or sloppy. And don't let your boss get to you, either. Nod and smile when he delivers another self-serving sermon. Maintain a can-do attitude, like you have your dream job. Respect and defer, even when trust is lost. You'll work with plenty of jerks over your career. You may as well start practicing now.

Prepare

Start collecting references and recommendation letters from clients, peers, industry pros, and local leaders. Keep a file of positive citations to your work too. Even more, focus on activities that position you to lead and produce measurable results. No one can take those experiences away from you. And they'll enhance your credibility when the next opportunity arises.

Forge alliances

Identify the job you eventually want. Get to know the players in that department. Grab lunch with them. Help them out during downtime to prove yourself. Build a relationship with a mentor or your boss's own boss, too. They can provide direction, intelligence, and even a reference. Beyond that, get involved in corporate initiatives, such as community outreach or strategic planning. Your boss has the power and network to blackball you. Stay visible and broaden your circle to counter that.

Don't jump to conclusions

Sometimes, there is more going on than meets the eye. The higher-ups may veto your boss's efforts. Conditions change or extenuating circumstances emerge. Your boss probably has a full plate - and you may not be his or her top priority. And your boss may simply be unaware of his or her behavior and its impact on you.

Bottom line: Management is often grueling and thankless. We all need someone to blame, but give your boss a little empathy. Don't mistake the person for the perception. They're usually far more complex than your caricature.

Keep your boss in the loop

Everyone likes to feel like an expert and give back. Your boss is no different. Maybe you need to reel your boss closer, rather than pushing him or her away. Ask what traits or skills you need to develop to reach the next level. Ask for specifics; look at establishing benchmarks to measure your growth. What's more, become a true partner with your boss.

You know your boss's flaws: Train yourself to ask the right questions, clarify, and work through the details. This is perfect training for what's really important in business: anticipation, flexibility, relationship-building, collaboration, and execution (not to mention making your boss look good).

Focus on the big picture

Your boss will betray your trust, then tell you to stay positive. Your boss will chastise you for your behavior, then act the same way. Sure, you can quit, but have you gained anything besides an ulcer? Instead, make the most of your time. Focus on gaining the right experience, building your interpersonal skills, and policing your attitude. They are your ticket out.

Absorb those daily humiliations, so you never become like your boss. Most important, don't write off the message because of the messenger. Your boss didn't reach this level by accident. Be open to criticisms and suggestions. You'll likely miss some valuable nuggets if you completely tune out your boss.

Wait

If your boss really is a jerk, chances are the clock is ticking on him or her. Charm, connections, and reputation only give bosses so much rope. They'll inevitably drop their guard and slip up with someone higher up - and it won't be pretty.

In the meantime, view your job as a means to an end and start laying the groundwork to get there. You have bigger things ahead of you.


Also been gearing up to write on the fantastic experience I have had the last two days. The electrically tense 5 quarters. Hope I get around to writing that in as grand a scale as it is in my head right now. Just to put things into perspective, I have not been this excited in anything since B school.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Dan Vettori Airborne

Just needed to put this picture up. On any day, the sight of Daniel Vettori is enough to get women weak in their knees. But this one, man is just awesome. On the other side is the crazy irresistible force called Virender Sehwag. Image courtesy: Getty images and Cricinfo

Daniel Vettori is airborne after getting Virender Sehwag to nick one, New Zealand v India, 2nd Test, Napier, 2nd day, March 27, 2009

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Brand Madonna - A SlideShare RockStar



Back in Bschool, in one of the marketing lectures, we were covering the topic Repositioning. Groups were made, as like every other class, and each group was supposed to do homework before hand and present cases of successful repositioning alongside explaining the concept to the class.

My group chose Madonna. It was a controversial choice of topic for my B school class, and yet precisely that is why I got into it whole heartedly. Come the day of the presentation (3 groups were supposed to present in a class), I was so excited with the way it had come out(I had even put in clippings of songs of different periods in her career to show what I was trying to talk about theoretically), and so angry at the dumbassed way a group member had finally presented this (the presenter was picked randomly, and apart from me, no one else had any clue what thought had gone into it).

I was stunned that the professor of marketing gave our group 3 out of 5 marks. I was convinced it deserved a 5 on 5, if not more. I was miffed about it for ages later.

Some 2 years back, I uploaded the presentation on slideshare on a whim. This is the link.

And a mail today from slideshare after 600844 views, and comments like

Hi there! Great presentation - really appreciate the effort put in to demonstrate how the concepts of branding, positioning & repositioning are relevant even in celebrity/talent marketing. If I could get a copy of the presentation, it would be much appreciated

It would be great to have a copy for a presentation I'm making to marketing students about USPs versus positioning.

WOW. can i have a copy of the presentation I am a professor in Branding and would like if possible to have a copy of the presentation.

You're a SlideShare RockStar

SlideShare Team

to me



Hi theevilp,

We've noticed that your slideshow on SlideShare has been getting a LOT of views in the last 24 hours. Great job ... you must be doing something right. ;-)

Why don't you tweet or blog this? Use the hashtag #bestofslideshare so we can track the conversation.

Congratulations,
-SlideShare Team


I must have done something right :D

Couldn't send it across to anyone as it was in my laptop a couple of laptops away. My digital archives are spread all over.

Update: Aw geez, it was an april fool's day prank.

Happy April Fool Day,

We celebrated April Fools Day with a little prank: views on your presentations have an extra two zeros on them. We hope you find this funny. Your views will be rolled back to normal in a few hours.

You can see tweets about this prank on twitter … we asked people to mark their tweets with #bestofslideshare in an email we sent out.

We sincerely apologize if we annoyed you … we notice from the reactions on twitter that some people are not amused.

Update: We’ve always loved our users and will continue to do so in future, the joke notwithstanding. If our prank upset you, we’re sorry.

Update Again: Actual view counts have now been restored. Its all over and back to normal!


Awesome comments there. Not a lot of people found it funny,

  1. Rashmi says:

    @JeremyKeith, we are looking into problems with email preferences right now. Our apologies regarding this. We will fix it.

    @DaveCross, you are right. We did send out some on day before.

    @thomas r koll: Apologies if we annoyed you. It was meant as a silly prank, but we understand why you don’t like it.

  2. Dave Cross says:

    I said:

    “You need to learn about timezones. Your email arrived at 12:05pm - so the joke is on you :-)”

    Rashmi repied:

    “@DaveCross, you are right. We did send out some on day before.”

    Er, no. Sounds like you still don’t understand timezones. I received your mail after noon on April 1st as I’m in Europe. It’s traditional that April Fools jokes played after noon rebound onto the joker.

    Dave…

  3. Charlie says:

    Guys, you aren’t YouTube. People put serious stuff on here… and they’re the type of people who are connected on Twitter to lots of professionals in their industry. Getting someone to look like a fool in front of their network and then be easily discovered in a big hashtag list of #peoplewhofellforourprank isn’t really cool.

    It’s one thing if you made a bunch of silly presentations and took the risk on your own site and your own network, but trying to get us excited and then let down in front of our own networks: not cool at all.

  4. Sean Nash says:

    Wow. People…

    Get a life. Relax. It’s one joke…
    and it was played on NATIONAL JOKE DAY.

    Quit being such a sissy because you are so vain you fell for the fact that your sucktastic presentation could even anywhere approach those numbers.

    Go lay down. Get some rest. When you wake up… smile. Your brain will feel better.
    ;-)

    Sean

  5. Rashmi says:

    @DaveCross Ah, I did not know that. (but also have not had enough coffee. Its early here :-))

    @Charlie I completely understand, this messes with people. And they put serious stuff on SlideShare. We will keep this in mind in the future.

Fun happenings & achings for the bed at home on the cricket field

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?

Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused


(from the poet Marilyn Manson's song Sweet Dreams)

Jesse Ryder is thrilled after dismissing Rahul Dravid, New Zealand v India, 2nd Test, Napier, 3rd day, March 28, 2009

Chubby, talented and pink: Colin, is that you? © Getty Images

A brilliant Brilliant article on happenings on in the cricket world these last few days,

The past week or so, moreover, has served as a microcosm. Wall-to-wall shows from Napier, Johannesburg and Bridgetown constituted an armchair fanatic's wet dream (provided, of course, the armchair fanatic does not support England or India more avidly than they love the game). Throw in the IPL's abrupt relocation to South Africa (who'd have imagined such a thing 25 years ago?), England's victory in the women's World Cup (who'd have imagined such a thing 25 days ago?), John Dyson getting his Duckworths and his Lewises in a twist in Guyana, and the latest phase of Kevin Pietersen's unwitting reinvention as a pantomime villain (who'd have imagined such a thing 25 weeks ago?), and it is hard to imagine even Oliver Twist asking for more.

One 30-hour period alone brought untold fun of varying hues: the second day from Napier, a Test with more than one delicious twist, followed by a first-class panto of an ODI from Barbados, and a stone-cold, 20-carat Twenty20 classic from The Wanderers, then back to Napier for a riveting day three. Cricket in all its shapes and disguises. For a few dizzy days thereafter, I was convinced that having three brands of the same sport was actually A Very Good Thing After All.



And the only thing I can say to this is Aww, THE KP, misses Jessica,

"I will not be without her for 11 weeks ever again, we've decided that."
Kevin Pietersen on how much he missed his wife Jessica Taylor while he was in the Caribbean

Apr 1, 2009


Pietersen won't go on long tour without wife

Cricinfo staff

March 31, 2009



A relaxed Kevin Pietersen during an England practice session, St Lucia, March 31, 2009
A relaxed Kevin Pietersen during an England practice session in St Lucia: 'I love touring, but there's no way I'll be without my wife for 11 weeks again' © Getty Images

Kevin Pietersen has said that he will not go on another long England tour without his wife, singer Jessica Taylor.

"I've never said I want to miss a tour and there's no way I will ever miss a tour," he told the BBC. "I love touring, but there's no way I'll be without my wife for 11 weeks again."

Pietersen admitted that the winter has not gone well, either for him or the team. "The first half was a shambles under my leadership. We didn't come close to winning a game in India and we didn't come close to winning a game here before we won on Sunday, except for the mathematical error on the West Indies' part in Guyana."

Referring to the much-quoted remarks he made at the weekend where he said he was at the end of his tether, he said that the comments "were born from frustration". He continued: "We all want to go home, but it does not stop the commitment we all put in on a daily basis. I am absolutely 100% passionate about playing for England. I absolutely never take it for granted about wearing the three lions on my chest.

"The second part of the frustration was I hadn't seen my wife since January 21. It's the longest period of time I've been away from her."

He confirmed that he had asked the England management for a 48-hour break to return home between the third and fourth Tests. "We decided it probably wouldn't be a good idea for the team going forward," he said. "There were no arguments, no nonsense, no disappointment on my behalf. I have been totally supportive of everything that has happened on this tour."



Leaving life incomplete - Faiz

वो लोग बहुत खुशकिस्मत थे ....... जो इश्क को काम समझते थे ....... या काम से आशिकी करते थे .......... हम जीते जी मसरूफ रहे .............कुछ इश्क किया कुछ काम किया ----- काम इश्क के आडे आता रहा ...... और इश्क से काम उलझता रहा ....... फिर आखिर तंग आकर हम ने ........ दोनों को अधूरा छोड़ दिया .... [फैज़]


Stole this bright and early from Vijay's facebook status message